


Uninvited, Lab Coat Wearing Idiots

by Left_In_The_Wreckage



Series: The Feeling Is Mutual or Even The Eldritch Has Feelings [1]
Category: Villainous (Cartoon)
Genre: Black Hat's first impression, Black Hat's the main focus., Flug can't decide if he's afraid or brave, Flug is a smart ass, M/M, Mild Cursing, hinted paperhat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-18 18:27:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12393678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Left_In_The_Wreckage/pseuds/Left_In_The_Wreckage
Summary: Black Hat couldn't very well publically announce that he was after a way to save his failing business as that would be admitting it was failing, so he would have to bide his time and wait. It wasn’t until he opened his hall to break the news to his clients that he found his solution in the form of one inconspicuous face of a stranger.That was when he found his scientist. He could still remember clearly the night he met his scientist.He hadn’t invited him.





	Uninvited, Lab Coat Wearing Idiots

Mornings were never Black Hat’s favourite. They always consisted of birdsong, and while the infernal winged rats steered well away from his estate, they were never so far that he couldn’t hear their mocking calls with his enhanced hearing. It always served to set him in a mood most foul, worse than that however, was the blinding rays of the sun and the  _ magical atmosphere _ when the sun rose over the hills and set off the dew littered across his lawn… if his lawn was still anything more than dead grass and impossibly barren trees. He was determined not to help the environment by keeping up such a wretched piece of land. Besides, it kept away the neighbors, not that any of them were brave enough to build their homes too close to his hill, much less go as far as the gate. 

He loathed neighbors, but it wasn’t worth the waste of his energy it would take to burn the houses down. After all, all things had their consequences. They were just rarely outcomes he cared particularly about or reveled in.

It had once been rather isolated, however, as the centuries progressed, more  _ humans _ began to flock about the fields surrounding the manner. Despite all his best efforts to scare them away, it proved to be an inevitable thing.

Before he knew it the area was infiltrated, nay,  _ infested _ with the fleshy-beings and it was all he could see for miles from the bottom stories of his _ er _ ...  _ humble _ abode. The only good thing it did him was the smog from car exhausts and the close proximity of his headquarters to the innocent was too close for any brave heroes to attempt anything stupid they’d wind up regretting later. Not that Black Hat didn't miss the opportunity to  _ educate _ a few numbskull, goody two shoes what a _ real  _ villain was, but he preferred to remain under the radar. It made his business easier to run and it kept any potential threats off his doorstep before his company had to address the issue themselves. It was up to the other villains to keep the meddlers away from his estate, and he was all too happy to lend them all the best weaponry to buy their allegiance, though very few knew this was the initial intent of his corporation, buying “protection” or at least camouflage through promises of weapons of mass mayhem and well,  _ evil _ .  

Now only he remembered, in a time where it was no longer a necessity, but a rather beneficial force of habit easier to continue rather than to shirk altogether. It still served its purpose and he still gained money, intelligence and the loyalty of his patrons. 

Yes, life in Black Hat manor was good. It was better than good. Everything was going swimmingly… Until he grew bored, and then challenged as his customers wanted more original technology… something he found himself no longer able to supply… by himself anyways. He needed _ fresh, new  _ ideas, but he was old fashioned and unfamiliar with the gadgets that were becoming so popular. But he refused to step back and fade into a thing of the past. Yet he couldn't very well  _ publically _ announce that he was after a way to save his failing business as that would be admitting it was failing, so he would have to bide his time and wait. It wasn’t until he opened his hall to break the news to his clients that he found his solution in the form of one inconspicuous face of a stranger. 

That was when he found his scientist. He could still remember clearly the night he met his scientist. 

He hadn’t invited him. Somehow the computer wiz had stalked his way through the doorway and bided his time until he would reveal himself. Right in the middle of Black Hat’s announcement. “My fellow villains, conspirators, valued customers… I have held you here long enough for you to wonder what I have brought you all here to say.” He’d cleared his throat and with much trepidation forced himself to admit to his failure. 

“I’m afraid tonight will be the last of Black Hat incorp-”

“That you’ll be running without your new head of the science directory, isn’t that right, Sir?” Somehow this scrawny human, he was human he could tell, because even though his confidence he could taste his fear, it was different from most people’s however… it was almost…  _ sweet...cute _ …  _ infuriating, _ had managed to traipse his way up the stairs of the stage and ~~take his breath away, answer his hopes~~ ,  steal his wits. 

Through gritting teeth Black hat had hissed, “Just what do you think you are doing?!” He wanted to scream it, to shout it to the depths of hell and watch the other cower in fear, but he restrained himself. He had an audience after all, he couldn't afford to make an unwarranted scene. That, and he wanted to know what the other had planned. It took nothing short of bravado and an insane, half-baked plan to face the eldritch, at the very least he wanted to know  _ why _ . 

The man looked up at him, his face covered by a paper bag, perhaps he was staving off as much of his own embarrassment as he was. “I-I know you had this big speech put together and all, boss, but I really didn’t think you’d mind me butting in a moment to introduce myself,” in the demon’s peripheral he could see movement behind the man’s back. His hackles rose and he knew his eyes flashed a brilliant red-

Only for the gun to miss him, or in reality, hit its intended targets. The villains gathered around, watching the scene unfold. He spun towards them, wondering how many plans for revenge he would have on his hands, only to see the entire room had fallen silent and deathly still. Everyone had officially been frozen- no, he corrected mentally, not frozen, there was no evidence of that, they seemed almost.. Stunned or paralyzed. Upon further inspection, they didn’t appear to be blinking either. Slowly, cautiously, he turned to face the man across the room, still standing where he’d left him on the stage, gun held out like he wasn’t done with it yet. When he noticed the Hat’s stare, however, his arms fell awkwardly to his sides. The eldritch wondered where he’d even kept that thing in the first place, but there were more pressing matters at the time, one of them being a room full of stunned villains, customers and competitors alike.

All Black Hat could do was blink, his breath might have caught and his chest might have constricted around his heart as it too froze as he stared. All The while the man onstage,  _ with a gun in his hands, mind you,  _ blinked owlishly and shuffled his feet like he hadn’t done the most impressive thing Black Hat had witnessed from another earth bound villain in  **_eons_ ** . 

Shadows gathered around him as he strode towards the stage. His eyes never left the form of the scientist as he began to shake with more than a little nervousness. That was when Black Hat realized he hadn’t spoken a word since their first exchange. It would be a pity if he had to chase the man down once the silence got to him. 

He’d cleared his throat and said the second thing he’d ever directed at the willful individual. “You have my attention, so… What did you want to discuss with me. Unless of course, you meant for your little ray to affect me the same as everyone else.” It wasn’t a question, it was an accusation.

“O-of c-course not!” It seemed his stuttering would get worse from there, but he stood taller when the eldritch stood but a foot away from him. 

“I’m listening,” Black Hat pressed, ever the gentleman, “Besides, no one could interrupt us if they wanted to.” This was said as his eyes fell to steal another glance at the strange invention the other still held in their limp hand.

“I- S-sir, Black Hat…” He hesitated, as if he wasn’t sure of his purpose of being there. Black Hat wondered how long it would take for his stubborn sense of sheer gall would fade behind the guise of a spineless coward and if he would get the words out before then. Perhaps he was wrong, he’d thought.

“Is it true?” the bundle of fear asked, pulling Black Hat from his state of annoyed boredom.

He’d scoffed at the vagueness of it, “And what do you mean by that? You’ll have to be more specific, my legacy is surrounded by rumors that reach farther than there are artifacts to date back the age of man.” This only seemed to draw out the fire within the scientist.  _ Interesting.  _ He never expected the question that came from the man next. 

“Is it true that the great, the mighty Black Hat is giving up?!”

The immaculately dressed business owner’s expression froze as the room around the two darkened, light barely crawling through the windows and the light fixtures shattering every second one by one until the two were clothed in naught but the stage light that miraculously had been left unfractured. 

“ **_GiViNg Up? Is ThAt WhAt THeY’rE SaYiNg_ ** _?” _

The bag-wearing scientist could only flinch back before his collar was harshly yanked towards the eldritch above where his head had been previously. “ **_wHaT Do ThEy CaLl YoU? I DoN’t BeLiEVe I InViTeD SmArT AsS LaB CoAT WeArInG IdIoTs tO ChAlLeNgE Me._ ** ”

The Scientist gulped, “F-Flug Slys and th-that’s because I wasn’t invited, but-”

“ **_tHaT’s WhAt I tHoUgHt_ ** ,  _ anything more to add before I end your miserable, pitiful existence, here and now _ ?” The demonic tone quieted in his voice, just barely, but it looked as if Flug could still hear the voices behind it clamouring and clashing against the initial scratchy baritone he usually possessed.

“Y-yes a-ac-actually I- I do! If you end me h-here, then your business fails, B-black Hat! A-and you wouldn’t be m-much better off than I was…” He paused not sure how far he’d pushed the villain too far already, before he corrected with a cough, “than I  _ am _ , S-sir.” Black Hat’s expression must have been difficult to read at that point. He wasn’t sure what outlet he should use to let out his rage that wouldn’t involve killing the other.

_ The audacity, the gall the absolute ludicrous statement of the year!  _ Was this human really saying he could hold a candle up to  _ his _ legacy? His eye twitched as it sunk in, however, as he glanced over his shoulder at the still frozen crowd behind the two, that he wasn’t too far from the mark. And how he’d  _ hated _ it. The Hat’s eye twitched and he’d sworn up and down in foreign tongues to keep from tearing off his face. He only succeeded by a moment’s patience. When he looked back at the man he held suspended before him, he had the smuggest look on his face, he knew, even with the stupid bag covering his face. “You have ten seconds to tell me why you’re really here or I swear upon every dark power in this world and the next that I will use your entrails as interior decorating for the next lunatic who has the  _ idea  _ to pull what you have today.”

“Th-thank you-”

“ _ Don’t mention it _ ,” The eldritch seethed, “just get to it, time is ticking,  _ idiot. _ ” He dropped the mess of a man then, and waited for him to get to the point.

“I’ve done my research on you, Black Hat… you’re not an eldritch who would throw in the towel because you hit a rough patch. Your business didn’t just start failing, it has been for the past three to four years a-c-according to my calculations, give or take, feel free to correct me if I’m wrong?” He stretched out the ‘if’ to prompt any objections from his listener, the whole while nothing stirred. When Black Hat made no such move to either deny or stop his rambling, he continued. 

“In that time you have done your best to keep your affairs to yourself, but there are some systems you can’t cover your tracks from. Even you were aware of this, and my hacking system happened to be one of those adept trackers.” Far more than ten seconds had passed and the eldritch had yet to kill him. The human considered this to be a good sign and his confidence spurred him on without the feeling of impending doom looming over his head, though Black Hat was tempted to change that. “So instead of risking being labeled a failure or waiting for keeping the business functioning to cost more than you put into it, you assembled everyone in the villain world you held transactions with to announce moving on to bigger and badder things. But we both know you have nothing planned, am I missing anything?”

The only answer Black Hat had given him had been a glowering, humanoid shape he’d morphed into, and a near murderous glare, but Flug had managed to hit the right nerves to keep him loathed and alive instead of loathed and  _ dead. _ There was… a part of Black Hat that approved of it, though it inconvenienced him. The idiot had put more pieces of the puzzle together than he’d even meant to leave behind. If there was a way he could still come out on top here-

The scientist sighed and rubbed his the back of his neck, awkwardly. Nervously. “I-I didn’t come here as your enemy is what I should have started with. I came here because I have something to uh... ask you I guess?”

There was the awkwardness again. Black Hat could work with that, it wasn’t much of a foot hold, but it would do. “You come here to prance up to me like you are my  _ equal _ , launch an attack on your fellow villains, because you  _ certainly aren’t a hero _ , and all you wanted to do  _ was ask me a question _ ? And what would that be  _ exactly _ ?” 

“Black Hat… Are there any open spaces for cutting edge scientists in your company for a…” he tried to recall what he’d been called earlier, “ _smart ass lab coat wearing_ _idiot_... like me?”

The eldritch raised his brow at ‘cutting edge’. But he need only recall the air the scientist had to him when the stage was set and the variables were dealt with. No one had suspected him until they had alen under the affects of what Black Hat assumed was an invention of his own make, as he’d yet to see it’s like on the black markets of this city much less the world, and he would know if he had. He watched them closely. His eyes appraised the specimen who’d awed, annoyed and thoroughly pissed him off in the short span of a half hour… and laughed. He guffawed with all he had in him and he was sure he saw the other blush bright enough for him to see it through the paperbag. _ It was too rich! _ In another context it might have been  _ poetic _ . “You are not normal by any means, are you? I’d be proud of that if I were you… fortunately, I’m not you, I find all of humanity putrid, except for maybe the occasional promising individuals such as yourself, Dr. Slys.” He tilted his head a moment, liking the sound of that,  _ Dr. Slys. His Dr. Slys _ . “You do have a doctorate, right? Fie, doesn’t matter as long as you built that  _ monstrosity _ , he pointed to the ray that made this interaction possible with a clawed hand, “I couldn’t care less/ give a damn. You did build that thing… correct?” His tone was threatening, but it seemed he’d complimented the man too much for him to react to it.

“Y-yes! I made it with an electronic pulse, not unlike a taser, only at a frequency and a set purpose of-” That was where Black Hat drew the line. He was not a modern man of technology nor a man of science. His time was better spent solely focusing on management and villainy in today’s world. The failure of his business was proof of that. He wouldn’t have needed to call today’s meeting if it had been his strong suit. He wouldn't have needed a scientist.

“Yes, yes, whatever, behind all the science terms and everything you just said, you’re saying you can build this again given the right materials?  _ Marvelous _ .” The praise seemed to override the first reaction to his interruption, discouragement, from the way the human looked at him through those goggles. It was… almost endearing. _ Almost, but not quite _ , or so he’d told himself.

“I- Thank you, Mister Black Hat, sir!”

“Hmm,” he smiled, faintly then, amused. Perhaps it had been time for him to find a partner again. The idea of it had already begun to appeal to him. “Just Sir Black Hat, let’s keep this professional, shall we? How legitimate are you about working for me?”

“It… it’s been a dream of mine sir Black Hat. I’m very serious about it.”

“ _ Bleh _ ,” Black Hat visibly gagged at the first sentence, his only response being, “ _ never _ say that again, I don't go granting wishes like a fucking fairy godmother.”

“Well, then… I’m very certain of this sir, and I can promise I won’t disappoint!”

“Oh? And how can I be sure you’re not some upstart that will undermine my authority and uproot my business from the inside?”  Black Hat mused, acting as if he believed the other would go to such lengths. It wasn’t far fetched after all.

The scientist shot him an unamused look and with as much snark as he could muster told him off, “As I see it your business is being driven into the ground. I could have watched from the sidelines and watched you burn so I could start my own business from the ground up without putting myself under your employ.”

“This is your first encounter of an eldritch isn’t it? I know I’m impressive, but I do more than ensure loyalty through more than petty pinkie swears and empty promises kept out of sheer fear or intimidation. I get people to sign legally and spiritually binding contracts with fine print nobody ever bothers reading. Now,” Black Hat’s pupil glowed unnaturally as he summoned forth what appeared to be an ancient looking scroll from where, only he knew, and handed a pen to the scientist’s shaking hand. “If you’re going to back out now I suggest you start screaming bloody murder, running like hell until you reach the other side of the globe and change your name to something less recognizable, _Flug_ _Slys._ I don’t like being _teased_ and you have done more than your fair share of toying with my situation.”

He leaned into the Doctor’s ear and chuckled darkly, reveling in the sight of the man shudder, “but whatever you do... don’t forget to read the fineprint... “ His chuckles morphed into evil laughter as he pulled away and snaked an arm over the scientist’s shoulder. Something Flug was too aware of, making him gulp and reconsider not for the first time if he could have pulled this off differently. He could see it in the human’s eyes, despite even the slight coverage he had given the goggles he wore. Contrary to what he’d lead the man to believe, he had been quite aware of his existence before their present predicament. Flug Slys… brilliant scientist, hacker, excellent linguist and most importantly, inventor. He had more achievements under his belt than most he’d met in a centuries. He was interesting, sure… but no one had ever seen him. He eluded even the eldritch, though he hadn’t sought hi out wholeheartedly, it was still minorly annoying.  He had never dreamed of hunting him down for his business, from what he knew, the information could have been faked. Heck, he assumed it was more of a collective effort than something one man alone could achieve. When his business began to fail, he figured he’d keep his eyes peeled for this elusive enigma, if he truly existed and or take control of the organised effort for his own personal gain. Now was his chance to test that. If this man’s activities froze when he took him under his wing more or less, then he’d found his man. If not… he would pay for it. Although… he was interesting in his own right, so maybe exceptions could be arranged. If the gun really was his own invention, which would be easy to determine by whether or not he performed accordingly.

He offered the pen again, knowing the man hadn't read through everything and his eye gleamed wickedly when it was accepted. In moments, the documents were signed. He couldn’t feel more smug.“I think we’re going to be working together for a _ very  _ long time you and I. But an eternity will pass by before you know it, Doctor, trust this gentleman’s word on the topic. I would know after all, I’ve been around longer than anyone can remember.”

That was all the word of warning he received before he was steered further into the manor and Black Hat dealt with the… room of frozen statuettes. Black Hat didn’t even question whether or not it was reversible. There were more important things to attend to. Much more interesting things.


End file.
